In a stark hospital room, a young women huddles in a corner as two police officers, a nurse and doctor ask her questions and tend to her wounds. The young woman is not only asked in detail what happened to her, but she is subjected to medical procedures and exams which only serve to remind her she has been raped. In a small apartment, a male figure sits in a darkened room, sunk as deep as he can go in the chair. As tears run down his face, his mind races back to several days ago as he questions his own sexuality, afraid to report to the police that he too had been raped by two unknown men as he left work. In a high rise office, with plush carpeting, a huge oak desk overlooking a scenic skyline, a CEO informs the employee sitting on the other side of the desk they are being transfered to another office and a restraining order has been issued against the employee's significant other.

In our society, the role of violence has been increasing steadily. Questions such as what it means to be female or male have to deal with a component of violence. Domestic violence no longer is confined to a specific house, but has spilled over into the work place. Not surprising due to the fact most of us spend more time at work then we do with our families. Work has become an extended family, and as such our mythic ties are very much a part of the issues which impact us.

Ritual is a re-enactment of myth. Intimate violence is a ritual for the following reasons;
1) There is a set pattern which repeats itself, and the more the pattern repeats the stronger it becomes.
2) At the core of this pattern are a set of specific beliefs and a way of problem solving that cuts across culture, life style and religious belief. Heterogeneous relationships and non-heterogeneous relationships have the same set of dynamics pertaining to intimate violence. This in part is because the ritual of intimate violence is deeply rooted in certain myths.

Where did this ritual come from? It is rooted in the herding cultures of the past who had to conquer an area before they could settle in it. In such an instance, human beings do not become a vessel of the sacred fire, but rather an object to be possessed, spoils of war. The humanity in a person is not only defeated or enslaved, but the deity in each individual is defeated or enslaved as well. In the early Christian tradition, priests and church fathers from the pulpit and in the sacred writings, instructed to husbands to beat their wives. Woman was the person who intro-duced sin into the world and as such, lost all privilege including control over her body.

The god/goddess hierarchies have three patterns, according to Joseph Campbell. The first two are the god is dominate over the goddess(Christian tradition), the goddess is dominate over the god(The Lilith myth) and the third is the two are equal in status and power. Currently, our society is living under the first, but with increasing resistance, which starts to illustrate the first of the 4 steps mentioned earlier above as it pertains to ritual.

The first stage in the ritual of Intimate violence is Tension. Tension is necessary for us to develop as human beings, but currently we are a society in which tension is out of proportion. It is no wonder we carry this tension into our relationships. The second stage is the argument stage in which the tension becomes active. This is where the myth begans to manifest itself openly, and this is also the stage of where the point of "No Return" occurs(The abuse-the enactment itself). The third stage is the actual abuse, the full enactment of the myth and once complete, strangely enough, the last stage is one of contentment and intimacy. The myth is cyclical and will continue with the last phase becoming shorter and shorter.

As in a ritual there are roles which are played with one exception, only one of those roles wields the power. This power may shift, for at times the person being battered may accelerate the ritual in an effort to hurry up and get through it. Children present at the ritual also know what parts of the ritual are coming up, and will often times remain silent or disappear until the ritual is over.

What are the implications for us concerning the rise in intimate violence? Violence plays a key theme in our world. The act of hunting is itself distorted, for it no longer becomes a partnership between community and animal, but an act of dominance. In many families today, to kill a living creature is considered an act of manhood. There is concern over the content of television programs and movies, but the concern should be over where these concepts are rooted. What have we been taught about violence and what myth are we attempting to enact? Could it be that the very sacred traditions many adhere to have either been misread or perpetuated rituals without under-standing the implications of investing ourselves in systems which need to be re-thought? In a world where technology is supposed to reduce the amount of conflict and make it easier to deal with life, why is Intimate violence on the rise?

Intimate violence is not a one sided issue, for it pertains to a way of living and handling conflict which is tied mythicly to all concerned in the process. As such, it is the ancient myths which hold the clues we are looking for to learn how to deal with such issues and as myth is cyclical, it will show us how to break the destructive cycles we have adopted in our lives.